Scripture: “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” Malachi 2:16 (NLT)
Observation: Malachi indicates that marriage is much more than a civil contract and that it involves a permanent covenant between husband and wife with the Lord as witness. Thus, God hates divorce, detesting the fact that the men of Israel are ending their marriages in order to marry foreign women. This is the strongest statement in the OT about the Lord’s feelings regarding divorce. [Andrews Study Bible Notes. 2010 (J. L. Dybdahl, Ed.). Berrien Springs, MI: Andrews University Press.]
The point is that one who divorces his wife simply because He dislikes her (Deut. 24:2) commits “violence” or injustice against her, that is, “cold-blooded and unscrupulous infringement of the personal rights of others, motivated by greed and hate” (see Ps. 73:6). Such a man deprives his wife of the very things a husband is responsible to provide—blessings, good, protection, praise, peace, justice—and He stands condemned by God.
Application: A video has gone viral online. The video is of a 30-year-old wife who is seen on the video kicking and screaming in the front seat of the car in which she is riding with her husband who is driving and recording on his cell phone the scene. The husband purportedly recorded this scene, and subsequently posted it online, so he could show the world what he had to go through and what led him to separate and file a restraining order against her. His wife, on the other hand, has now offered her side of the story claiming she felt like she was being bullied.
What brought about her behavior? According to the wife, who happens to be a nurse, her husband bullied her and was egging her on in the video. He had promised to take her to the lake on their boat to meet some friends, but changed his mind after they had a fight. She said that her husband held the boat hostage and would often come up with reasons for them not to use the boat all the time.
The husband related that he had worked a 60 hour week and had told his wife that he was reserving Saturday for chores and errands. But when she asked him to take her out on the lake in their boat and he refused, she didn't like it. He also stated that this wasn't the first tantrum his wife has thrown and that she has routinely shouted at him and told friends and family that it is her husband that is verbally abusive. He added that as usual she threw a fit about not taking her out on the boat, and that in the past she had broken doors off the jambs at our house. What was the result of this sad event in their pick-up truck? He said, “that was the last day I lived in our house. I have moved out and filed a restraining order against her.”
How sad that a marriage which probably started with love, festivities, and lots of laughter comes to an end with shouting, restraining orders. Chances are, the relationship will end in divorce. Our text tells us God hates divorce because it overwhelms the spouse with cruelty. God hates divorce, because it causes long lasting harm to each spouse, not to speak of the children. Of course there are some who watching this video might say, “better to be divorced than living in a relationship like this.” I would say, better to work to fix the relationship than to live like this, or worse to divorce.
A Prayer You May Say: Father God, help us to have a healthy marriage, keep us from ever doing or saying anything that will harm our spouse, and protect our marriage from divorce.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
