Scripture: (1 Sam 25:3 NKJV) The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. And he was of the house of Caleb.
Observation: Nabal was a very wealthy man, financially, but a very foolish, even wicked, man. David and his men had been protecting Nabal’s people, so David requested help in the form of supplies. Nabal’s lack of wisdom showed in denying David what he requested thus also demonstrating lack of gratitude. On the other hand, Abigail, Nabal’s wife, is described as being wise and beautiful. She understood not only how David had protected her husband’s servants, and as a result alla of them, but she also understood that if the wrong steps were taken David cold easily destroy them all, which in fact would have happened had she not intervened.
After she gathered provisions for David and his men, and presented them to him, David was grateful and spared Nabal and all his people. Nabal, on the other hand, was partying at home and since he was drunk Abigail chose not to tell him what all had transpired until he was sober. After Abigail told Nabal, he basically lost his life until eventually he did die. David, appreciating Abigail’s beauty and wisdom, asked her to become his wife. Again showing her wisdom, Abigail accepted with words that also show her humility: “Then she arose, bowed her face to the earth, and said, "Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord” (vs.41).
Application: There are, in this story, three characteristics of a good wife:
1. Physical Beauty: Men, by nature, are more visual and are therefore attracted, first of all, to the physical attributes of a woman. While these vary from culture to culture and from man to man, in general terms men look at the outward appearance of a woman before they consider any other of her attributes. Willard Harley, in his book His Needs, Her Needs, even goes as far as to say that having an attractive spouse is one of the most important emotional needs of a man.
2. Wisdom (or good understanding): Although physical beauty attracts men at first, there’s a point at which we know there’s more to it than that and we want to have a wife with whom we can share our thoughts, our feelings, our goals and plans for the future, someone who can understand us and will support and encourage us.
3. Humility: Men still long to be the protector and provider of the home and to have his wife follow his leadership. Harley also says that one other important emotional need of man is to have his wife’s admiration and respect. A good wife may be as gifted and talented as her husband, or even more so. But a wise, humble wife will still express appreciation and admiration for her husband so he won’t feel inferior to her.
I suppose we could try to find the wife that meets all the characteristics of the woman in Proverbs 31, a nearly impossible task, or we can begin by looking for such a woman as Abigail, or if you’re a woman you can begin by putting these three attributes into practice in your life; you will like it, and your husband will love you even more.
A Prayer You May Say: Father, thank You for making us the way we are and for showing us that our differences can be complimentary of each other for our mutual benefit.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
