Scripture: Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another. Ephesians 4:25 (NKJV)
Observation: The original Greek is very emphatic - “having put away” once for all. The decision to put away lying should not be temporary or only when it is convenient to do so.
“Speak ye truth each one with his neighbor,” is quoted, slightly changed, from Zec 8:16. For “to,” Paul quotes it “with,” to mark our inner connection with one another, as “members one of another” [Stier]. Not merely members of one body. Union to one another in Christ, not merely the external command, instinctively leads Christians to fulfil mutual duties. One member could not injure or deceive another, without injuring himself, as all have a mutual and common interest. (Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., & Brown, D. (1997). Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible. Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.)
Application: Lying has become part of the life of some spouse, even if they don’t like doing it. Sometimes spouses say “little white lies” to each other because they do not want to “hurt” the other person. He will not let his wife know that he didn’t like the meal she cooked so lovingly for him. She won’t tell him that she really doesn’t enjoy sitting an entire afternoon watching sports. He will not tell her his honest feelings or opinion when she asks “do I look fat in this dress?”, even if he thinks so. She will not tell him she does not appreciate him spending so much time at work, or with his buddies. . . if she told him, she thinks, I’m being selfish and unappreciative.
One of the most important emotional needs for women is the need for honesty and openness. She doesn’t want to feel that her husband is not being truthful, that he’s lying about something, that he’s hiding something. She wants to know what he’s thinking and feeling. She wants to have the assurance that when he tells her he will be someplace he will be there.
No matter how small the lie may be, it creates a barrier which prevents complete, true intimacy from taking place. It makes the person who told the lie, or withheld the truth, defensive, careful with his words lest he be found out. It is so much easier and better to have no secrets between spouses, to always speak the truth so there’s never a fear of a secret slipping out at the wrong moment. Paul’s words are very wise and applicable to marital relationships. When we don’t speak the truth to each other we not only hurt our spouse, we hurt our relationship, and because we are members of the common relationship we end up hurting ourselves.
Put away lying once and for all! It’s best for your spouse, it’s best for your relationship, it’s best for you!
A Prayer You May Say: Father God, help me that no lie may ever cross my lips, specially as I speak to my spouse. Help us that our conversation may always be truthful and honest for by so doing our intimacy grows, we are closer together, and we honor You, the God of all truth.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
